I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
