I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
