You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
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