I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
