remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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