he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Boobs speak an international language.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
