She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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