Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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