Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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