you're like a bully in the Christmas story
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
This can only be settled by a dance off.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
