I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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