So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I understand Curling. That high.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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