Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
