i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
