Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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