I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
