i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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