Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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