Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
