He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
