..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
