This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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