He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Dicks are not precious.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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