Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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