I feel like I'm in dance class right now
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
