he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
