this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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