taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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