We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
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