glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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