he told me I talked like a deaf person
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
