Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Randomize
