when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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