You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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