This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
