yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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