Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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