Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
