I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
