Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Semen is not good for contacts.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
