So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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