So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
