JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
