Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
