My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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