at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
