i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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