I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
you had me at cake vodka
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
