Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
