based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
