Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
