and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
